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56 Useless At New Six Flags Fireplace Park


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EUREKA, MO—Surprise waves hit the St. Louis–house neighborhood Friday when no less than 56 folks reportedly died on the grand opening of the brand new Six Flags Fireplace Park. “Tragically, greater than a dozen folks misplaced their lives or sustained life-threatening accidents at the three-story Blaze of Glory fireplace slide on my own, and primary responders imagine there is also extra our bodies within the Raging Petroleum Wave Pool,” Six Flags CEO Selim Bassoul stated as firefighters persisted to struggle a variety of five-alarm fireplace rides across the park grounds. “Nobody will have foreseen this terrible consequence, and our hearts move out to the sufferers of Batman’s Bonfire and the Flaminator. Going ahead, we will be able to institute higher trying out safeguards to make sure that parkgoers don’t seem to be dousing themselves in gas in one of the crucial park’s six flame-shaped oil swimming pools ahead of sliding down Pete’s Wild Pyre slide or frolicking within the Conflagration Station. We ask for forgiveness to these visitors for being charred or burned alive.” In mild of the tragedy, Six Flags Fireplace Park team of workers introduced they’d be canceling a deliberate night party that used to be intended to function fireworks shot without delay into the gang.

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